Crazy Train

I just heard "Crazy Train".  This was my theme song in the '90's.  I heard it in my sleep!  What a crazy train I was riding during that decade.  Life hit me fast and hard then.  I took over running the restaurant, and eventually, the bar too.  Crazy times...

I made huge decisions in the nineties.  Mostly, the answers came as what was best for my kids then.  It wasn't easy being on a train that was going off the rails.  I juggled my life like balls in the air.  I defined myself in hard work, and pleasing others.  I went back to school with the idea of finally getting my degree, but then ended up just taking some classes.  Three steps forward, two steps back.  I think I read every self-help book published.  I began journaling daily.  What a heap!

Somehow, I made it through the tunnel to the light at its end.  This, after years of doing "the work".  I discovered the importance of forgiveness.  I dug in my hooves and stood my ground.  I learned to say "no".  I had a huge lawsuit in the late eighties which empowered me for life!  I lost everything in the eighties, and gained it all back, and more, in the nineties.

Choices I made back then, are still affecting me now.  Time to review, to rethink, to retire the old ways....I want out of this boxcar...